Let’s be real – No person is immune to behaving in a toxic or dangerous way once in a while. What is important is knowing to move past these moments by learning to be better, embrace personal growth, instead of letting these habits stick around for longer than they are needed. Do not let them live rent free in your mind and heart damaging your property.
There are probably more toxic behaviors to list, but these 9 come to mind as the most important.
1. Victim Mentality
When you have been the victim in a situation or multiple situations, especially before adulthood, it is hard to not try to protect yourself from these pains. Know there is a difference between protecting yourself and expecting to be hurt. Expecting to be a victim can keep you from feeling empowered and in control of your destiny.
“Master yourself, and become king of the world around you. Let no odds, chastisement, exile, doubt, fear, or ANY mental virii prevent you from accomplishing your dreams. Never be a victim of life; be it’s conqueror.” ” -Mike Norton-
2. Living in the Past or Living in the Future
It is good to acknowledge your past and learn from your life’s lesson, but you do not need to relive the pain and regrets of the past. It is good to grow towards the future and prepare for the life you vision, but not at the expense of missing out on the magic of living in the present. Both extreme mindsets lead to ignoring the needs of the people around you.
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.” -Bill Keane-
3. Creating Enemies
Most everyone is just doing their best in life. Any person who intentionally causes pain is suffering with their own demons unaware of how poisoned their thinking is due to all the pain they have received from others in life. Acknowledging this pain, offering your understanding and forgiveness, can help them see through themselves. This act can create a friend from an enemy.
“When you begin to see that your enemy is suffering, that is the beginning of insight.” -Thich Nhat Hanh-
4. Holding on to Grudges
Sometimes, we are caught in situations with others where it’s not easy to let go soon after it happens. Some situations are traumatic and require a great deal of counseling, introspection and healing. Any grudge takes energy to keep and it gives this person power over you. Letting go of a grudge is more about your own peace & clarity versus forgiving the other person.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” -Buddha-
5. Mindlessly Living
It takes effort to live consciously. Reacting out of habit can cause a varied response with a mix of old patterns and emotional wounds mostly coming from the subconscious mind. When we live mindfully, we react to every situation with intelligence, wisdom, compassion and with the intent to create the best outcome possible.
“Mindless habitual behavior is the enemy of innovation.” -Rosabeth Moss Kanter-
6. Withholding Love
Love can be used as a weapon even more disastrous than hate, but to give your love freely is a gift to yourself and the world. This is the only way you can surround yourself with multiple loving people in the form of friendship, family and romantic encounters. When a person stumbles in your life who abuses your love, your heart will already be so full, their attempts to cause you pain will be minimal.
Take stock of your thoughts and behavior. Each night ask yourself, when were you negative when you could have been positive? When did you withhold love when you might have given it? When did you play a neurotic game instead of behaving in a powerful way? Use this process to self-correct. -Marianne Williamson-
7. The Need to Be Right
Feeling the need to be right is less about discovering the truth and more about protecting yourself from being wrong. It is an ego-based reaction. You can skillfully debate your position based on your truths and still listen respectfully to another person’s truths. If your reasoning is sound, maybe you will plant a seed in another’s mind for them to discover on their own, but that is all you can do when it comes to a tightly held belief. By listening to another person’s views, you too might be sent on the similar path to your own discoveries. Overall, it is about expanding the mind while letting go of your pride.
“He who establishes his argument by noise and command, shows that his reason is weak.” – Michel de Montaigne –
8. Cheating in Life
Not going about things the right way is a disservice to yourself. It robs you of the ability to feel full satisfaction of a fairly earned accomplishment. No matter how much you push away feelings of guilt to yourself or others who might have been affected by this action, they exist somewhere within and can easily resurface at any time.
“The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one’s self. All sin is easy after that.” -Pearl Bailey-
9. Allowing Ego to Drive
Most if not all of the above behaviors could all be connected to the ego. The most important personal development discovery is when you can decide which parts of your ego requires healing and which parts need to be discarded. Once enough negativity has been removed, you can start living your life guided by your inner voice. The ego becomes a trusted advisor who sits in the passenger seat while your higher self is driving the car.
Forget Buddha. Let’s talk materialism.
The best food in the world will never come from a restaurant. You don’t even need top-notch ingredients. What you need is a little know-how (not a ton–you want to be a cook, not a three-star chef) and…time.
So if you’re not trading all your hours to make ends meet, and you can do some chopping and then periodically check in on your creation over 4-6 hours, guess what? Your apartment might very well be the best place to eat in the entire city. And if you had pleasurably dropped, oh, maybe a total of $2000–lifetime–on thrift store stereo equipment, vinyl and CDs, plus library annex novels (shocking how good the titles are for $1 to $2) and artbooks ($5 to $10 each), plus a handful of posters with inexpensive frames or mounting…your apartment now looks good, sounds good, smells good, the food you serve in it tastes good, and the place is filled with all kinds of interesting things for guests to pick up and ponder.
Four senses down. And I like your chances for touching, because…
…the sound and smells from your apartment will be noticed. So if you–gasp–knock on a few doors down the hallway, and invite people over for a meal…at a minimum, you’ll have a friendly hallway. At a maximum, you might have a few genuine friends steps from your door, ones who know other people you might like as well. And then–suddenly–there’s an element in your social life that millionaires and billionaires can’t have, because they’re usually booked with all those responsibilities, plus they’ve dropped fortunes for land, security and privacy: effortless, spontaneous evenings.
Oh, and those fabulous restaurants those billionaires and millionaires are going to? They’re spending thousands so…they can’t pick the music, they don’t get seconds, they’re at the mercy of reservations, and they have to leave. Not to mention the fact that a first-rate commercial kitchen is a master class in logistics, and guess what they’re likely not doing? Slow-cooking anyone’s meal for 4-6 hours.
Whereas you dropped $40, most of your cooking time was actually spent watching the football game and listening to music, you ate better and so did your guests, they brought the alcohol, everybody gets seconds, and things end when they end.
You unambitious loser you. How awful. I’m embarrassed for you. You need a vision, a five-year plan, and…oh, um…yes. I am hungry…
By the way, if you live in a city of any size, dollars to donuts, the main/central library not only has a mindwobblingly great collection of art books, poetry chapbooks and jazz, blues and classical CDs and vinyl, it also likely has a librarian sitting quite near them who loves these items.
Talk to him/her. If you do, 1) you’ll be renting someone else’s excellent taste for free while you develop your own, and 2) you can have enticing, memorable material all over your apartment for free, and keep changing it up every three weeks.
Which means you just might become an intriguing, tactile person in a streaming world where everyone says amazing (about things that aren’t) 54 times a day. So get that freaking library card!
Coca-Cola on a hot summer day is about as American as fighting bears in the woods and blowing things up—and more refreshing, too. But you already knew that.
What you didn’t know is that your favorite carbonated candy can be used for a lot more than just drinking. Here are 12 things you didn’t know you could do with Coca-Cola.
1. Remove blood stains
Got some blood on your favorite tee? (Bears do fight back, from time to time) Sprinkle a can of Coke in with your regular laundry detergent and water, and wait for magic to happen.
2. Take rust off
Need to clean up the bumper on that old Ford of yours? Looking to put some elbow grease into the wheels on your new-to-you bicycle? Pour some Coke on it.
The trace amounts of phosphoric acid are enough to corrode rust and keep your bike spokes and bumper looking like new. Pro-tip: Use tin foil to rub the Coke into the rust and watch it disappear, because science is goddamn voodoo wizardry.
3. Degrease cookware
When hot soapy water just won’t cut it, soak those stubborn grease spots and charred leftover mishaps in some Coke and let it sit for a half hour or so. Or stick to takeout. Whatever.
4. Fix your car battery
When a car won’t start without any low-battery warnings or cold weather, there’s a good chance you have a dirty battery terminal. The acidity of Coca-Cola is just enough to clean the oxidized terminals and give your ride the juice it needs to get you where you’re going. It won’t bring a battery back from the dead, but it may save you an expensive trip to the parts store.
5. Make an actual battery
It’s not much power, but you can really turn an LED on with a coke can. Check out this video.
6. Loosen stuck bolts
Anyone who’s ever done some home improvement or basic auto maintenance knows that stuck bolts can be every wrench-turner’s worst enemy. If you’re fresh out of PB B’laster or Liquid Wrench, try some Coke. Just like on those old bike spokes, the phosphoric acid will react with the rust and free those pesky bolts.
7. Get gum out of your hair
When mayonnaise, peanut butter, and whatever other gross things the Internet says will get gum out of your hair fail, try drizzling some Coca-Cola into your hair. The ingredients in the Coke will break down the gum and hopefully save you an emergency barbershop stop. It also works great for gum stuck on shoes!
8. Neutralize bug bites and stings
Bees are majestic creatures that pollinate our trees and flowers, put food on our plates, and keep our Cheerios honey nut-ed. They also sting. It sucks. Next time you find yourself on the wrong side of a bee’s stinger (or jellyfish’s tentacle!) pour some Coke on the bite/sting to neutralize the pain.
9. Clean your windows and mirrors
Those delicious acids found in this bubbly wonder work incredibly well on grimed up windows and mirrors. Just rinse it off with water so no sticky residue gets left behind.
10. Clean your toilet
Man, this stuff is great. If you run out of toilet cleaner, a can of Coke will work wonders on your throne. Literally just dump a can where you dump in your can (see what we did there?), let it sit for about an hour, give it a good scrub, and voila—presto clean-o.
11. Polish old jewelry
If you want to breathe new life into your old jewelry or de-gunk the treasure in your coin purse, dip your precious metals in a glass of Coke and let them sit overnight. Give them a light scrub the next morning with an old rag and they’ll look like new.
12. Clean grease stains off your driveway
If that old clunker of yours is doing a number on your once-pristine driveway, Coke is a great alternative to a complete re-pave. Drown the affected spot with the syrupy nectar of the Gods and let it sit for a full 24 hours. Take a hose to it (preferably a power washer), and watch the grime, gunk, and grease melt away.