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Ladies & gentlemen, the J.P.Morgan Palladium Card:

It’s got your name laser-etched into it, rather than printed on those mere bourgeois plastic cards in raised lettering. It’s made out of 23-kt gold and palladium, which is some rare expensive metal. Depending on how commodity prices are doing on a given day, it may be worth more than $1,000 or so if you just melted it down and sold off the metal in it–which is more than the annual fee itself ($595, or a small rounding error on a Palladium card-holder’s monthly wine club invoice). The card is made out of metal to make it durable, heavy, attractive, and noticeable: when dropped upon a silver platter, it makes a distinctive “ping!” sound.

It’s reported that in order to be invited to apply for the Palladium card, you must have an account with JPMorgan’s private bank, with net assets of at least $25 million, ranking you well above just the 1%. There are thought to be fewer than 5,000 of these little doodads floating around.

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