It’s all your fault

You know those people who always seem to blame their misfortune on everyone but themselves? I know that I know them. It’s always his fault or her fault or their fault or the world’s fault. It’s even just plain bad luck or things just never seeming to go their way. It’s always someone or something else’s fault. It’s never their own. As if everything bad that happens in their life is part of some well orchestrated grand conspiracy.

And even if this is not who we generally are, we all have these singular moments. Moments where we are quick to point fingers and assign blame. Moments when, if something does not go as well as expected, it is not our fault — it’s theirs.

My first thought when I encounter such people or situations is this: Why would anyone give all of their power away so easily?

Power?

Yes. Power.

You see, if you are of the mind that everything bad that happens is someone else’s fault, or if you think that life just kind of happens to you as you are living it, then you are assigning a tremendous amount of power to them and assume no power to be able to change it yourself. If your choices and actions are always a reaction to the things that they do, then you have no agency to take action or make the independent choices that drive your life. And, I can’t imagine a life more sad than one where you believe that bad things just happen to you for no good reason. Where others are mean or things don’t go your way and you have no ability to make it stop.

But, if you see things differently and assume the responsibility for the things that happen in your life, then you also command the power to change them. Once you stop believing that them or they or the man or life are to blame, and start to look within for reasons instead, you can start about the work of making the changes needed to turn the tide.

The position of power is the ability to accept responsibility for one’s fortune — good or bad. Because only in this position does one have the power and opportunity to change or sutain it.

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